Personal Notes

Whatever you're looking for Kris, you won't find it in your inbox or on voicemail. No! Look inside for the answers. That's where they rest waiting for you.

I've always been under the impression that once you know how to ride a bike, no matter how long it's been since you've been on one, you never forgot. Well that may be true for riding a bike but not true for throwing a ball.

I played soccer, football, basketball, tennis, softball and even ran track when I was a kid. So when my neighbor mentioned they needed another girl for their softball team I didn't hesitate I said of course I'll come and help out. I did let him know it had been years and years and years since I played but I felt confident I wouldn't be the worst player on the team.

I was excited!! I went out and bought a new glove, they are $55.00 and that's the cheap ones. I remember when they were $20. (OK I'm showing my age). The rules had changed a bit but everything was pretty much the same except...

I throw like a girl! If you are wondering, that's NOT a good thing.

I'm not sure how or when it happened but OMG did I embarrass myself to no end. I swear off ever playing again since I ended up being the worst player after all.

I have returned my glove and am happy to be a cheerleader for my team.

The lack of hope must have been contagious the last couple of weeks. Another blogger I subscribe to seemed to be in a funk as well. They were handed the card above and it changed their whole outlook on life. I have to agree.

Not to mention the comment from my dear friend Carla to Another Question post from April.
"You never give up hope, you just adjust your focus/understanding."

TRUE THAT!!!!! Thanks for reminding me.

Anniversaries are generally a happy time. Today is an anniversary I'd like to pretend doesn't exist.

Truly, May 5, 2005 is just a date.....a passage of time really. But I can't seem to stop my emotions from running full throttle. I understand it's part of the grieving process but damn it, four years seems long enough.

Good-bye

When do you give up hope? Before it's over or after it's long gone?

What do you do when love isn't enough?

You told me I didn't have to do this alone. I wish that were true but it's not. Last time I did it alone and was miserable, so the thought of doing it alone again did not appeal to me at all. So when you said you'd be there, I knew you'd be holding my hand helping me through it all. Well you're not and now you can't. I know if I'd have asked you to stay you would have but looking at it now it wouldn't have done either one of us any good.

This is a road I must take alone.
I wish it weren't true but it is.

If I can just keep in mind the comments Yoda says to Luke before he goes into the cave.

"Luke: What's in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you."

I keep lightening my load as to carry very little on my journey.